2 Questions
Apr. 14th, 2005 02:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blueeowynI just received word that person close to me is getting divorced. I also recently received word that another person close to me has just had a long term relationship terminated (multiple years with the person). I also have a couple of friends who are recently in the dating scene (for various reasons) and want to see them happy and safe.
So, I figured I would ask y'all for advice/opinions. Anonymous comments are screened by default but will be unscreened if appropriate and on-topic.
Question the first
If you were involved in the ending of a serious relationship (as the dumpee, the dumper, the recipient of bad stuff (abuse, cheating, stealing, whatever), etc.), what (if anything) could your friends/family/support network do to help you through it? Would you prefer to be left alone? Would you prefer to have calls? Emails? Help packing you? Him/Her? The uzi?
I know that everyone is different and I know the sorts of things *I* tend to do depend on how close to the person I am and who that person is (some people need one thing, some need another).
Question the second
What is the best way to avoid being in situations that lead to Question the First? Both as someone on the outside (how to tell your friends to NOT go out with X because X did Q to P in the past) AND as someone on the inside (for those of you who are in/have been in longer term relationships, how have you avoided the uglies? (Yes, I know that finding the right person and staying with that person is the answer but this is more how can you be sure you have the right person ... I know how easy it is to make mistakes in this area ... really I do).
So, I figured I would ask y'all for advice/opinions. Anonymous comments are screened by default but will be unscreened if appropriate and on-topic.
Question the first
If you were involved in the ending of a serious relationship (as the dumpee, the dumper, the recipient of bad stuff (abuse, cheating, stealing, whatever), etc.), what (if anything) could your friends/family/support network do to help you through it? Would you prefer to be left alone? Would you prefer to have calls? Emails? Help packing you? Him/Her? The uzi?
I know that everyone is different and I know the sorts of things *I* tend to do depend on how close to the person I am and who that person is (some people need one thing, some need another).
Question the second
What is the best way to avoid being in situations that lead to Question the First? Both as someone on the outside (how to tell your friends to NOT go out with X because X did Q to P in the past) AND as someone on the inside (for those of you who are in/have been in longer term relationships, how have you avoided the uglies? (Yes, I know that finding the right person and staying with that person is the answer but this is more how can you be sure you have the right person ... I know how easy it is to make mistakes in this area ... really I do).