Baby Advice Sought
Apr. 18th, 2008 10:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blueeowynNo, I am NOT pregnant though given how queasy I have been recently, I have a lot of sympathy for those who are ... yes, I am quite sure that the queasy has nothing to do with reproductive status ... clariton isn't a cure for morning sickness but it helps my allergy related nausea on a regular basis throughout the year.
However, a number of people I know are either expecting their first, trying for their first, or in the case of one person close to me; expected to start trying for kidlet number 1 this summer and I know that y'all have some good ideas and experience. In the case of certain people; from what I have seen/heard; your parenting skills are fabulous. One couple (the one I suspect will start trying later this summer) will have a fair amount of advice from family members, unfortunately the success of said family members is debatable on some aspects of child rearing. Given that I don't have a child therefore 'couldn't possibly have any idea of anything,' having more experienced words may be helpful.
So, some of the things that have either come up in discussion with friends in the past, have come up with my SIL, have popped up in LJ, etc.. that I suspect that many of you may have opinions on are:
Basic Supplies
Basic Preparation
Basic Guidelines
I know that a newborn doesn't need shoes (no matter how cute they may be). I have heard that cloth diapers are fabulous to have around and are multitalented (spit-up cloth, binky, spare diaper, general wipe-up cloth, etc.). Washable toys are often a Good Idea as well.
However, what are some of the other basic necessities?
How do you choose certain items (car seat, carrying basket, diaper bag, etc.)?
How do you decide about day-care vs. stay at home (assuming you have the option)?
If you decide on day-care; how do you go about finding a good one (for a sane price)?
Preparation
What do you need to have done before the baby comes home. Obviously you will need certain basic supplies, but what else? For example, I have made comments in the past on having any financial adjustments occurring before the birth (and been pooh poohed by some for it). If you are used to having that extra $X out of the budget before the baby comes you don't have to deal with a new budget AND a new baby which seems logical to me. The extra money you put aside can become part of a college fund. Certain things will need to be organized (place for the baby to sleep, get fed, get changed, etc.). Baby proofing (e.g. blocking outlets) can probably wait for a bit but safety for a newborn can't.
Guidelines
Insert disclaimer that horses are not humans and I do realize that. That said, before Echo was born there were certain things that I knew I was adamant about with her (certain behaviors were going to be sins from the get-go and by 3 days she understood "no" as a concept and by about a week she really had the "mouth doesn't go on humans" as a VERY solid concept). I have known parents who wanted to the be first to give their baby every possible new experience (e.g. first applesauce, first button down clothes, first time with a new type of toy). I know of parents who were adamant that their children not be given anything food-wise but breast milk for the first 6 months of the baby's life (and some insist that it has to be directly from the source). How do you as a parent/planned parent/potential parent go about deciding what these are? It could be stuff about how to handle the pregnancy (e.g. wanting to know the baby's gender vs. not), the birth (e.g. save the cord blood; who is allowed in the delivery room), the newborn (e.g. maternal/paternal grandparents staying at the house to help with the baby), etc.. What about others caring for the baby? Who do you trust to sit for the child? How much interference in discipline is reasonable from your point of view (e.g. if your child hits me; am I allowed to say NO!?, block the hit? pick up the child and hand him/her off to you?)?
Other
How do you handle the big wide world and your child? I know of children who are home schooled because the parents are worried about bullies, zero-tolerance, teaching to the test, etc.. When is that an issue? How do you choose between public school (which can have all of those problems and more) or private school (which may still have those problems, be costly, and may be parochial of a type different from you)? How do you balance your new responsibilities (baby) with your life (job, family, friends, hobbies, etc.). There are people who drop everything to worship The Child (I know of one woman who is 3 months pregnant and was FURIOUS that when someone was told of the child didn't start doing cartwheels ... sorry but there are times when that is not the right answer and being on a cell phone in a major transaction is one of them).
I am serious; there are enough people around me who are likely to use this info; please share as much as you are comfortable doing. Anonymous comments are still screened but if you prefer to be anonymous; I can understand that, it just may take longer for the comment to show up.
However, a number of people I know are either expecting their first, trying for their first, or in the case of one person close to me; expected to start trying for kidlet number 1 this summer and I know that y'all have some good ideas and experience. In the case of certain people; from what I have seen/heard; your parenting skills are fabulous. One couple (the one I suspect will start trying later this summer) will have a fair amount of advice from family members, unfortunately the success of said family members is debatable on some aspects of child rearing. Given that I don't have a child therefore 'couldn't possibly have any idea of anything,' having more experienced words may be helpful.
So, some of the things that have either come up in discussion with friends in the past, have come up with my SIL, have popped up in LJ, etc.. that I suspect that many of you may have opinions on are:
Basic Supplies
Basic Preparation
Basic Guidelines
I know that a newborn doesn't need shoes (no matter how cute they may be). I have heard that cloth diapers are fabulous to have around and are multitalented (spit-up cloth, binky, spare diaper, general wipe-up cloth, etc.). Washable toys are often a Good Idea as well.
However, what are some of the other basic necessities?
How do you choose certain items (car seat, carrying basket, diaper bag, etc.)?
How do you decide about day-care vs. stay at home (assuming you have the option)?
If you decide on day-care; how do you go about finding a good one (for a sane price)?
Preparation
What do you need to have done before the baby comes home. Obviously you will need certain basic supplies, but what else? For example, I have made comments in the past on having any financial adjustments occurring before the birth (and been pooh poohed by some for it). If you are used to having that extra $X out of the budget before the baby comes you don't have to deal with a new budget AND a new baby which seems logical to me. The extra money you put aside can become part of a college fund. Certain things will need to be organized (place for the baby to sleep, get fed, get changed, etc.). Baby proofing (e.g. blocking outlets) can probably wait for a bit but safety for a newborn can't.
Guidelines
Insert disclaimer that horses are not humans and I do realize that. That said, before Echo was born there were certain things that I knew I was adamant about with her (certain behaviors were going to be sins from the get-go and by 3 days she understood "no" as a concept and by about a week she really had the "mouth doesn't go on humans" as a VERY solid concept). I have known parents who wanted to the be first to give their baby every possible new experience (e.g. first applesauce, first button down clothes, first time with a new type of toy). I know of parents who were adamant that their children not be given anything food-wise but breast milk for the first 6 months of the baby's life (and some insist that it has to be directly from the source). How do you as a parent/planned parent/potential parent go about deciding what these are? It could be stuff about how to handle the pregnancy (e.g. wanting to know the baby's gender vs. not), the birth (e.g. save the cord blood; who is allowed in the delivery room), the newborn (e.g. maternal/paternal grandparents staying at the house to help with the baby), etc.. What about others caring for the baby? Who do you trust to sit for the child? How much interference in discipline is reasonable from your point of view (e.g. if your child hits me; am I allowed to say NO!?, block the hit? pick up the child and hand him/her off to you?)?
Other
How do you handle the big wide world and your child? I know of children who are home schooled because the parents are worried about bullies, zero-tolerance, teaching to the test, etc.. When is that an issue? How do you choose between public school (which can have all of those problems and more) or private school (which may still have those problems, be costly, and may be parochial of a type different from you)? How do you balance your new responsibilities (baby) with your life (job, family, friends, hobbies, etc.). There are people who drop everything to worship The Child (I know of one woman who is 3 months pregnant and was FURIOUS that when someone was told of the child didn't start doing cartwheels ... sorry but there are times when that is not the right answer and being on a cell phone in a major transaction is one of them).
I am serious; there are enough people around me who are likely to use this info; please share as much as you are comfortable doing. Anonymous comments are still screened but if you prefer to be anonymous; I can understand that, it just may take longer for the comment to show up.