blueeowyn: (Default)
Several posts are in the mental queue but with work and being sick, I don't have the time/energy to do much posting. However, in the interests of catharcism, here I go.

What part of I don't know wasn't clear? )

Rules are meant to be followed )


Clue needed, TGIF )

Stupid Cards )


Aug. 28th, 2007 04:52 pm
blueeowyn: (Default)
Found on Noblessa's LJ - what if the theories of 'Abstinence Only' education were applied other subjects.

Gravity isn't a constant on Earth. 9.8m/s/s is a good usable number for the vast majority of cases, however, there are some slight variations depending on whether you are at the bottom of the Grand Canyon or the top of a mountain. Since it isn't 100% certain, we shouldn't teach it. Cooking isn't 100% accurate, no more HomeEc and so forth.

Education should give people the tools to evaluate things and make informed decisions. Even if you push for abstinence in high school or college, at some point people may choose to become married and if you want to prevent unwanted pregnancies, knowledge of birth control is a GoodThing. That way people will know that while nursing will depress the ovaries it doesn't completely shut them down in all women (and when the baby is no longer getting all nutrition that way, the effect is lessened which is why nursing mothers can (and do) get pregnant ... sometimes unintentionally). Knowing how the hormones work and how they affect each other is good for both genders. Knowing what the pieces are and how to care for them. If a set of parents have no idea what a foreskin is, how can they make a decision on circumcision (and if they don't circumcise the child, they need to know how to clean him). I could go on (and on and on and ...).

Basically, I think that teenagers don't have it together enough to handle a sexual relationship. However, if they are going to have sex, I really don't want them spreading disease OR getting pregnant. I also have no problem with a committed, mature couple having a sexual relationship even if they aren't married as long as they aren't spreading disease OR having an unwanted pregnancy.
blueeowyn: (Default)
Ayradyss wrote in about a girl who was convinced it was her fault that her SO put her in the emergency room. One of the commenters mentioned statistics on the % of children who grow up in an abusive home who escape the trap (or who are even capable of recognizing the abuse).

Sad, sad, depressing and infuriating.

I would love to go to all the people out there who 'stay in the marriage for the children' and smack them upside the head with these statistics. The really chilling aspect is the number of people who miss the more 'subtle' abuse. You don't have to send someone to the hospital to be an abuser. Mental/emotional/psychological abuse abound and in some circles are considered 'appropriate' (not merely normal but something to be promoted and praised). Gad, it drives me up the proverbial wall and there is so little I can do. I hope all who read this who have seen the situation can teach their siblings, friends, children, neices, nephews, etc. the evil that this is.

Just because someone is female/younger/single/married/etc. does not mean that they are at someone's beck and call for all things at all times. Being female is natural. Being male is natural. Being a rug takes two people (one to do the walking, one to take it). Being an asshat is YOUR doing; not someone else's. Walking on people is wrong. Expecting it because of their 'status' is more wrong. Teaching your children this is the worst. I'm not talking just the verbal preaching but the walking the proberbial walk. If your SMO is to drop everything to serve your spouse and apologize for everything in the world, that will be taught to your children. If your SMO is to obey everything your spouse says without question (or worse gripe about how stupid it is that s/he wants/expects you to do X but you do it anyway); your children will learn that that spouse is in control.

And that isn't even starting on the people out there who believe to the core of their soul that Their Child is the center of the universe and that everything must take a second place to Their Child and that it is not only perfectly normal but perfectly correct that Their Child be permitted to interrupt everything without even an 'excuse me' or a 'hold on darling, I'm talking to X'. And heaven forfend that anyone expect that Their Child be expected to leave something alone. Feh

These sorts of things lead to the number of rude, pushy, obnoxious people who truely believe that the sun shines from their backside and that all things are due to them and nothing is ever their fault.

I have seen the effects of 'passive' abuse. I have seen the effects of 'active' abuse. I sometimes think that the rules for 'cruel and unusual punishment' should be suspended for the abusers. However, I do know that is a slippery slope and I do NOT want to go there (esp. since I recall that speaking against the Government will have me branded as a terrorist according to the current inhabitant of the White House and said being believes in torture to gain 'information' to use of his own political purposes).
blueeowyn: (Duh)
How to annoy an Eowyn in a few easy steps.
Annying/Rude things )

Bad Choices

Aug. 2nd, 2007 12:44 pm
blueeowyn: (Duh)
Most of this will focus on relationship choices. However, repeating bad choices in other venues and expecting a change in the result can apply to almost anything.

Those of you quoted, please comment on whether you want to be outed and I will change this. It is public so until I hear from you, I will screen all comments. Comments are screened to protect anonymity if you want to request that. All other comments will be unscreened as we go.

The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
-- Sophocles

Why do people make the same bad choices repeatedly? )
I put the genders in this article as both male and female but unfortunately, due to the culture of this country, the women are more likely to be controlled, neglected, and abused than the men.

I am so grateful every day that I learned to get past the abusive situations that I had learned to see as 'normal' and that I have found a true helpmate. One who supports my hobbies even when they interfere with house-plans (though I try to minimize that). One who has a life of his own and respects my life. One who supports my independence while cherishing our togetherness. I am one of the luckiest people because of this. Thank you Java for being a true Gentle-Man.
blueeowyn: (Default)
This is a companion piece to the Friendship one I just posted ( As I have said repeatedly, your spouse should be one of your best friends if not the best friend. However, your spouse should not be your only friend. This is another one of the posts that has been in progress for some time and I have gotten tired of fiddling with it.
Read more... )


Jul. 5th, 2007 05:47 pm
blueeowyn: (Default)
What is friendship? Is it hanging out together? It is laughing together? Is it crying together? Or is it more (or less)? What constitutes a true friendship?

In my book a friend is someone that you like, that likes you. But it is more than simple affection (or at least for a good friend it is). There is a level of woven tapestry of your lives so that when a thread leaves the pattern, the pattern feels incomplete and empty. There is trust, respect, understanding, involvement, and communication. With some friends, they may not see each other frequently but they are comfortable with each other both in talking and in silence. Things will just grow out of the silences. They can be companionably silent or they can talk with ease.

Respect is a large part of it. If you do not respect someone, it is difficult to be a true friend to them. And part of your friendship will be the showing of respect. I don't mean that you have to agree with everything that someone believes in, that isn't respect, that is propaganda. Respect is knowing, deep down in your soul, that the other person has intrinsic value of their own, not just as a generic person but as that specific person. Respect is acknowledging that while you may agree to disagree, that the things you disagree on have merit for each person. If one person is Pro-Life and one person is Pro-Choice; if they respect each other they may debate the merits of each side and present arguments for their beliefs without denigrating each other. They will acknowledge that while they may not agree with the relative merit of the arguments that the arguments have a basis for the other person and that the opinion of the other person is a valid opinion, even if it doesn't match what is 'right'.

Camaraderie is a wonderful thing, but in a true friendship it has depth behind it. A sharing of life and life experiences. A willingness to be open and honest without being cruel. A willingness to accept the honesty of each other without lashing out. A willingness to be there for the other and to be true to the other and to the other's needs.

If you cannot (or will not) share thoughts/ideas with someone unless pushed, calling that a Friendship seems to demean the term Friend. You may be Friendly acquaintances; but not true friends. If you assume the worst about someone without talking to them to get their side of the story, that isn't friendship, that is being a social lemming.

Friends do sometimes drift apart and the pain of the death of what was (and what could have been with honesty, openness, and commitment) is as painful in its own way as the death of a loving relationship. Love, TRUE LOVE, is based on friendship (and should grow from it) so it stands to reason that a friendship will feel like a little love.

A marriage should be based on a solid Friendship as I write here
blueeowyn: (Default)
This is from a chain letter email, I am keeping the good stuff.

Rules for a good life )

Car Seats

Apr. 25th, 2007 09:13 am
blueeowyn: (Default)
A study conducted by the National Highway Safety Administration showed that 80% of Child Safety Seats are misused.
Anyone want to lay money on the fact that they keep coming up with new ways to make the seats and each seat to car set-up could be slightly different as the primary cause? And the newborn seats will be different from the 2 year old seats and different from the 4 year old booster seats? Anyone? Bueller?

For anyone who bothers to read this LJ; if you have a child (or are planning to); please save yourself the grief/guilt of an improperly installed car seat and gets yours checked. Have each set up checked as the child moves to a new seat (you are exempt from this if you are re-using a seat that you already know how to fasten into the car you had with the previous use of the seat).

For anyone near UM Child Safety Seat Technicians will be installing/checking child safety seats on Maryland Day. Please call (301) 405-3555 for an appointment.
blueeowyn: (Default)
I heard that they are expecting gas prices to hit $4.00/gallon fairly soon. Ugh. This means that lots of the "don't buy gas on a certain day" or "don't buy gas from CompanyX" things are going around. How is this for a novel idea. Use gas wisely.

What will really help is if all the yuppies out there would get rid of their SUVs/trucks (or have the big-thing for the 2-3 times a year they really need to haul things and an efficient car for most of their driving).

Think about it, my 1996 car gets 33-36 mpg on my commute to and from work. Javas' 1994 gets about 31mpg on his commute. Most SUV type vehicles get 25mpg. Some horrible ones get about 20mpg Figure that most people drive 300 miles/week. Here are some comparisons for ONE vehicle driven 300 miles/week (15,600 miles/year) at certain 'normal' fuel efficiencies:

40mpg - 390 gallons/year
35mpg - 446 gallons/year
30mpg - 520 gallons/year
25mpg - 624 gallons/year
20mpg - 780 gallons/year
12mpg - 1300 gallons/year
6mpg - 2600 gallons/year

I know that some people really need a large vehicle (P needs the power to haul the trailer for example) but an awful lot of people are driving SUV/truck/luxury cars because it is the cool thing to do and consuming a LOT of gas.

Stupid reasons for having an SUV:

  • I need the room for a car-seat for my child - um, they are called Car seats for a reason. They do fit in cars. Besides which if you have kidlet number 2; lifting kid number one UP to get into the SUV is going to be hard when preggers
  • I need to go off-road - riight ... how many people really need to off road enough that they can't use their car? Pennsic? No, you can take a Honda to Pennsic just fine.
  • I need to haul stuff - I moved a friend of mine in a hatchback and a Toyota Sedan. The only thing that didn't fit in those two cars (one trip for an efficiency apartment) was the sofa-bed which ain't going to fit in the SUV either. I have also fit 6 72" bookshelves (unassembled) into a Honda Civic. For the rare instance when I need/want to haul something larger; there is always U-Haul for $19.95/day.
  • I need the power - buh? Most people are driving on a beltway. The only time you need more power is if you are carrying a lot of stuff or pulling a lot of stuff. The scary thing is that many people who pull trailers don't have the braking power to stop the trailer.
  • I need the stability in bad weather - oh puh-lease. My little hatchback went past a LOT of stuck SUV types and pick-up trucks several years ago. There is also the simple fact that all wheel drive doesn't do a darn bit of good when you hit the ice. Driving also does not equal stopping. There is also that little 'roll-over' chance that SUVs give.
  • I need cargo space - ever hear of a wonderful invention called a trunk?
  • The seats fold down - they do in quite a few cars as well

yes, I have heard all of these reasons. I am not even commenting (much) on the reduced emission requirements that SUVs have and the pollution that they therefore produce. They also seem to figure prominently in some major damage to cars because they do have the raised bumper (I would LOVE to see SUV/trucks required to have bumpers at car bumper height). The scary thing is that these unstable vehicles are becoming almost as frequently driven by idiots as sports cars used to be (though not at the crotch-rocket rate).

Pet Food

Apr. 24th, 2007 11:44 am
blueeowyn: (Default)
As Java already posted ( yet another pet food recall is being made. *sigh*

For those of you thinking of doing your own. PLEASE DON'T or at least get your veterinarian (not animal communicator/nutritionist) working with you. Critters have special needs. Cats need Taurine, no taurine=no eyesight ... permanently. They cannot manufacture it on their own. Every animal has critical amino acid needs because none of us can make all of them. They also have specific vitamin/mineral needs including transferrability.

For those who have a recalled food at home, please be cautious with the change to a new food. Abrupt changes can be hard on the GI tract (vomiting, loose stools, etc.) ... this becomes critical in critters who cannot vomit (e.g. horses). Also, if you get something that the animal declares is "Not Food" you run into all sorts of problems (similar to the problems that can occur if you put an animal on a severe diet with no warning ... fatty liver disease for example.

I am very grateful that one of our boys happens to be violently allergic to many 'normal' ingredients and the food they have has not been recalled (and looks to be unlikely to be recalled). Scary things out there.
blueeowyn: (Default)
I feel for the students, family, faculty, staff, and residents of Virginia Tech. I hope that their healing starts soon. It is a terrible thing that happened. However, I find a lot of what has happened afterwards very disturbing and cannot stay quiet any longer. The courage that some of the victims and the rescue people showed is amazing.

Reactions-Rant )


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