Ayradyss wrote in http://ayradyss.livejournal.com/310614.html
about a girl who was convinced it was her fault that her SO put her in the emergency room. One of the commenters mentioned statistics on the % of children who grow up in an abusive home who escape the trap (or who are even capable of recognizing the abuse).
Sad, sad, depressing and infuriating.
I would love to go to all the people out there who 'stay in the marriage for the children' and smack them upside the head with these statistics. The really chilling aspect is the number of people who miss the more 'subtle' abuse. You don't have to send someone to the hospital to be an abuser. Mental/emotional/psychological abuse abound and in some circles are considered 'appropriate' (not merely normal but something to be promoted and praised). Gad, it drives me up the proverbial wall and there is so little I can do. I hope all who read this who have seen the situation can teach their siblings, friends, children, neices, nephews, etc. the evil that this is.
Just because someone is female/younger/single/married/etc. does not mean that they are at someone's beck and call for all things at all times. Being female is natural. Being male is natural. Being a rug takes two people (one to do the walking, one to take it). Being an asshat is YOUR doing; not someone else's. Walking on people is wrong. Expecting it because of their 'status' is more wrong. Teaching your children this is the worst. I'm not talking just the verbal preaching but the walking the proberbial walk. If your SMO is to drop everything to serve your spouse and apologize for everything in the world, that will be taught to your children. If your SMO is to obey everything your spouse says without question (or worse gripe about how stupid it is that s/he wants/expects you to do X but you do it anyway); your children will learn that that spouse is in control.
And that isn't even starting on the people out there who believe to the core of their soul that Their Child
is the center of the universe and that everything must take a second place to Their Child
and that it is not only perfectly normal but perfectly correct that Their Child
be permitted to interrupt everything without even an 'excuse me' or a 'hold on darling, I'm talking to X'. And heaven forfend that anyone expect that Their Child
be expected to leave something alone. Feh
These sorts of things lead to the number of rude, pushy, obnoxious people who truely believe that the sun shines from their backside and that all things are due to them and nothing is ever their fault.
I have seen the effects of 'passive' abuse. I have seen the effects of 'active' abuse. I sometimes think that the rules for 'cruel and unusual punishment' should be suspended for the abusers. However, I do know that is a slippery slope and I do NOT want to go there (esp. since I recall that speaking against the Government will have me branded as a terrorist according to the current inhabitant of the White House and said being believes in torture to gain 'information' to use of his own political purposes).